(via ericmortensen:themattsmith:bringtheruckuss)

navin and marie (The Jerk) - tonight you belong to me

“I didn’t want to get spit on me.”

Once I went on a date with an attractive young lady that I was in no way attracted to. At the end of the date I walked her to the door and she bent towards me with her eyes closed and lips puckered. I did no want to kiss her, but did not want to be rude, so I put my two fingers on her mouth and made a kissing…(cracking up)..sound. I told my friend about this later, who asked what I would have done if she would have used tongue, we joked that I would of put my forefinger through my two fingers, we laughed hsystero. Later I saw him at church and held up two fingers and stuffed my forefinger through them, he promptly spit coffee all over, his wife and the rest of the people didn’t seem to think it was funny. I too have a Special Purpose.